You know that point when your kid is a few months old and you notice other kids their age are starting to put sounds together and you get a little worried that your kid is behind because they’re not there yet? And then a few months later when other kids are using words and you wonder if your kid has as many words in their vocabulary as the other kids? And then of course the point where you hear some kids speaking in full and complete sentences and wonder if your kid is on track? I wish I had never had those thoughts about how Reese was progressing verbally because she is that kid who speaks in full and complete sentences, that kid that most adults can understand without trouble, and that kid that NEVER EVER shuts her yapper! I blame myself for why she is the way she is, I’ve always felt the need to fill any silence with conversation. For the longest time I didn’t like to be alone and I absolutely hated silence, before we had Reese I would actually leave the TV on all day long so that the house wasn’t silent. Now I search and hope and pray for even five minutes during the day where I’m not bombarded with questions and comments and random thoughts that pop into her head. Yesterday we drove to base to get gas and check the mail, this required us to be in the car for roughly an hour and I wish I was exaggerating when I said that she asked me the ENTIRE car ride if we were going to the beach and if we could go to the beach. I told her the beach was a little too far away for us to drive to today, I told her that it was still a little too cold outside to go to the beach, I tried ignoring her in the hopes that the questions would go away, and then finally I told her that we would need to plan a trip to the beach, this final comment upset her and she informed that she did NOT want to go to the beach. As irritating as this conversation became, it was still nicer than the usual car ride conversation that goes a little bit like this…Reese: Where are we going Mommy? Me: (insert destination here) R: Where are we going Mommy? Me: (Insert destination here) R: Where are we going Mommy? Me: Where do you think we’re going Reese? R: (Insert destination she’s been told here) Me: Yep, you know where we’re going……..5 second pause in conversation…..R: Where are we going Mommy?
I’m writing this all down so that down the road when I begin to worry that Finn doesn’t say enough yet or that he’s not as far along verbally as Reese was at his age, I’ll be able to remember that that may just be a good thing. I’ll enjoy those silent car rides just a little bit more and as frustrating as it may be to not know what he wants, I’ll remember that soon I’ll know a little too much about what he wants, how we wants it, and when he wants it. Maybe the bigger lesson I’ve learned from my daughter is that not every silence needs to be filled. My husband will probably be most excited by my new revelation, he’ll finally get the peace and quiet he’s been looking for.
Now on a separate topic, my little girl is really really sweet and cute. Since Nate’s been gone she and Jaeger have taken to bunking with one another and it has got to be one of the cutest things in the world. Reese is completely oblivious to the fact that Jaeger is sleeping with her, which is probably for the best since she would never be able to fall asleep if she knew Jaeger was so close, she’d be far too preoccupied trying to antagonize her. I think that has to be the cutest part of the whole thing; as much as Reese taunts and attacks Jaeger throughout the day, Jaeger still wants to be with her. (As a side note, that is actually a very small amount of stuff with her in bed compared to most nights. She feels the need to have every blanket possible piled in there with her and there’s a stack of books under pluto that you just can’t see in the photo).
Final thought for the day, this baby. (If you could hear the way I just said that in my head then their would be no need to continue on). If he’s as active outside of me as he is inside of me then we’re going to have some serious issues. I keep going back and forth between feeling like he’s never going to come on his own and feeling like he’s going to come very very soon. Each day that passes the amount of pressure I feel…hmmmm how to put this tastefully….on his exit path?…..seems to grow and grow. I realize this isn’t going to happen, but sometimes I’m afraid to go to the bathroom because I think he’s going to pop out when I sit down. I actually caught myself walking with a bit of a waddle today and had to make a conscious effort to try and walk correctly. I figure if the next few days pass without incident then all this worry will have been for nothing because Nate will be home and Finn will wait and wait and wait until I have the doctor forcibly remove him from me. This pregnancy has been so much more difficult than my pregnancy with Reese, I’m just hoping that the child that is produced is extremely easy, though Reese was an easy baby so I doubt I’m going to be that lucky. I just keep telling myself that I was wanting a little boy and that when he finally gets here all the rest of this won’t matter anymore. Also, I’ve gotten stretch marks this pregnancy, though I’m not actually worried about them because they’re only on my belly button….please tell me who (besides me) gets belly button stretch marks? I think they’re kind of random and funny and since I usually have a very deep belly button I figure they’ll suck inside of it and no one will be the wiser when this is all over with. Still though, you have to admit that belly button stretch marks are random.
