Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Saturday Morning Surgeon

Reese has a habit of waking up earlier than Nate and I would like on a Saturday morning. This morning she woke us up with her everyday call of "Momma, gotta go poopoo," so Nate took her to the bathroom and then tossed her in bed with us in the hopes that she would fall back asleep. Now as soon as Nate tossed her in bed he rolled over and fell right back asleep while I was left to deal with a very awake and very not tired little girl. This morning he didn't just toss a little girl into bed, apparently he tossed a mini surgeon in. She crawled out of bed and ran to get what I thought was a bag of plastic animals but apparently plastic animals are here surgical tool of choice. She climbed back into bed next to me and as I naively thought she was going to entertain herself with animals, she began operating on me. First I received a facelift with the hoofs of a plastic horse. For those who have not experienced this procedure, it is extremely painful and I'm pretty sure my surgeon should've brought in an anesthesologist before she began. I found this procedure a bit offensive since I still view myself to be young enough to forgo a facelift for a few more years. I explained this to my surgeon, and the fact that I was in a lot of pain, and she agreed to move on to more pressing surgical concerns. I next had my arm sliced open with a cow, I don't remember my arm hurting prior to the procedure but I just assumed that my little Doogie Howser knew what she was doing. After a little more work on my arms and hands she decided that her work with me was done and thought she might dabble in veterinary medicine, luckily for Jaeger she jumped away from Dr. Kevorkian before she could start in on her. I'm not sure if I should be pleased that my little girl is showing such an aptitude for medicine or afraid to close my eyes. I am sure that this is one more thing that makes me fear for the spawn growing inside me. The first hint that I should be afraid was:

I just don't think that baby is big enough to be giving her a horsie ride. Please tell me you see the same visions of tummy time going terribly wrong.